Happy Fuck Off and Die,Hunter.

In celebration,Damien,Penny and I are sitting outside the Wicked Hop bar & grill enjoying whiskey and bourbon on a humid Friday afternoon avoiding the dire responsibilities of our meaningless information-technology jobs. I hope you are too.

My dad emailed me this morning:

It’s the birthday of journalist Hunter S. Thompson,born in Louisville,Kentucky (1939). His father was an insurance agent,and Thompson grew up in a comfortable,affluent home. In high school,he was accepted into a prestigious club called the Athenaeum Literary Association along with all the other wealthy and socially elite young people of Louisville. But around the same time, Thompson’s father got sick and died from a rare immune disorder. His mother had to take a job as a librarian to support the family,and Thompson suddenly became the poor member of his group of friends,the only one who couldn’t afford to go to an Ivy League school.
He rebelled against the club and became famous in the town for his outrageous pranks. He flooded the first floor of the high school with three inches of water during an assembly,and he dumped a truckload of pumpkins in front of a downtown hotel.
He was arrested several times in his senior year for vandalism and attempted robbery. He was excommunicated from the literary association,and he spent 30 days in jail. When he was released,he joined the United States Air Force.
Thompson spent most of his time in the Air Force writing for the newspaper at his base. He was honorably discharged in 1958 and began writing for any small newspaper that would take him. In his spare time, he obsessively studied his favorite novel,The Great Gatsby,outlining it and rewriting passages. He said,"I wanted to teach my neurological system how it felt to write that kind of prose."
Then,in 1964,the California attorney general issued a report on a dangerous new motorcycle gang known as the Hell’s Angels,and the national media picked up the story. Thompson was hired by The Nation magazine to write a brief investigative article about the gang. After his article was published,he got a call from a publisher offering him fifteen hundred dollars to write a book on the same subject. Thompson was so broke at that point that the electrical company had recently shut off his power. He later said,"For fifteen hundred dollars I would have done the definitive text on hammerhead sharks and stayed in the water with them for three months!"
Thompson bought a motorcycle with his book advance and began driving around the country,meeting bikers and writing about them. He almost died doing his research one day when five Hell’s Angels suddenly turned on him and beat him senseless. But he survived, and in 1967 he published his book Hell’s Angels: The Strange and Terrible Saga of the Outlaw Motorcycle Gangs. The experience of writing the book inspired Thompson to become a kind of outlaw journalist of the counterculture,writing about his own adventures beyond the boundaries of normal society.
In 1971,he published his most famous book,Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas,about a trip he took to that that city,how it almost drove him crazy,and his realization that idealism of the 1960s had disappeared for good.
He said,"I haven’t found a drug yet that can get you anywhere near as high as a sitting at a desk writing,trying to imagine a story no matter how bizarre it is,[or] going out and getting into the weirdness of reality and doing a little time on the Proud Highway."

Obama,ANWR,smoking,drinking,the Lambs.

Our next president will have to realize what George Bush never has: that this war must be fought decisively,or it will be lost inevitably.  We are not now on a path to winning this war.  Churchill once said, “You can always count on Americans to do the right thing – after they’ve tried everything else.” It’s time to end the “everything else” stage.  – Jed Babbin,deputy undersecretary of defense in President George H.W. Bush’s administration.

I read the New Yorker article,which was vastly different from the cover dipction in that it was quite informative and well-written – though its hard to deny the elements of criticism contained within. To sum up: Obama is not an anti-establishment candidate,he’s a meticulous and brilliant politician who has learned from his mistakes in his failed campaigns in Illinois quickly – quickly enough to become the Presidental Nominee six years from those failed campaigns,naivety and obscurity. To a certain extent, I feel like Obama isn’t an anti-establishment candidate,nor has he portrayed himself as one. A Washington outsider,sure. But its hard to deny that regardless of any technical details or specific quotes,his campaign slogan certainly evokes the image of the underdog,the idealism,Change and Hope,and all the other exciting qualities of someone who isn’t part of the system. The attack that can be built from this detailed article aim at deflating Obama from hero to simple opportunist. Because,as the article states: "Heroes are not elected President." An awesome statement,and one of the most acute truths of American politics.

Which is all moot in the context of Jed Babbin’s comments. The hawks still circle overhead. There’s oil to be spilled. Bush is pushing for ANWR for that golden egg of American gratification,even though experts seem to state the obvious: "If we were to drill today,realistically speaking,we should not expect a barrel of oil coming out of this new resource for three years,maybe even five years,so let’s not kid ourselves," (Fadel Gheit,oil and gas analyst with Oppenheimer & Co. Equity Capital Markets Division). But CNN points out the profits:

Candida Scott,an oil industry researcher at Cambridge Research Associates,said oil needs to be priced at $60 a barrel or more to justify deep-shelf drilling. With oil now selling for $145 a barrel,companies are almost assured of profiting from offshore drilling,Scott said.

Of course, that’s the actual effect of drilling on the market – not on the futures market that’s been targeted by Congress,and who knows how they’d react to ANWR. If the Republicans actually believe the shit about free market balance and judgement,the impact would still be minimal as oil exploration and extraction is not a quick process. If they’re as insane as most people believe they are,the market would spike in some unrealistic temporary bubble,and by the time Obama got into office we’d have some coverup of an oil spill by a newly-appointed majority shareholder named Bush or Cheney or Baker or some shit while oil crept into the $5/gallon. Another beer for more good times. Why do we need to drill ANWR for the little-to-no impact on oil futures? For a society that doens’t seem to take energy conservation seriously at $4/gallon… Seems like the squeeze isn’t quite tight enough for the common White voter…

I shouldn’t forget to mention Kirtsen Powers’ latest article about how stupid everyone but Liberal Bloggers are:

"One top liberal blogger opined last week that Obama’s drop in a recent Newsweek poll resulted from his vote for a compromise on FISA,the intelligence surveillance law. Ridiculous: The average American voter can’t describe what FISA is"

Well,fuck you too you rotten bitch. T. Boone Pickens can afford ads offering environmental options to his oilman credibility while supporting the meaningless 527 groups like Swift Boats – for which he offered up a $1 million dollar prize for anyone who could prove it all was false. Then of course refused to pay out that sum when the verterans were exposed as joining onto a Republican front. The idealism of the ends justify the means. But I digress,he married some girl who fucked a race horse.

And this all really devolves after a few beers into the muddled reality of this campaign with John McCain: "an Associated Press reporter asked McCain to comment on a report that U.S. exports to Iran had increased tenfold during the last seven years — with cigarettes ranking as the top export.

"Maybe that’s a way of killing them," McCain responded." And why not? This is where Republicans shine: take that basal generalization of fear and dumb hatred and turn it into a bad joke that’ll jostle the jowels of the deepest,most isolated Republican base. Shit,John,the Iranians that DO smoke American cigarettes are the ones who probably fucking favor a westernized Iran. But,OK,let’s kill em all. I assume that’ll be FREE,right? Just storm those goddamn freedomoil fields – For America! My old roomate put it accurately – its not the joke,its the fact that you’re sick enough to think up this shit. To wit: Jasper Oppenheimer,the writer behind some seriously offensive music,decrees that John McCain is a member of the Lambs of Abortion.

The further Obama places his flag into history,the more those hawks will decend,looking for fresh meat and the weak and fallen. Pluck the failures from the withering trees of tolerance. Their wicked,screaching calls of "Fuck them" echoing from shore to oil-soaked shit-infested shore just outside the white-wall suburb. We need guns.


1:10 AM boardedupsalmon: IT’S COMCASTIC!
1:10 AM me: what is?
the lambs of abortion?
and did you seriously make a joke-phrase about a communications company?
how much did you spend to get Obama to vote for the FISA bill?
1:11 AM how many dedicated customers did you sell out to the feds?
did you believe in freedom?
or just good white folk?
1:12 AM like hitting up a hard ride on whisky and a seriously dangerous italian motorbike
but fuck
what would you know,you’ve written a bot to ejaculate shit like that to random folk
maybe you’ll hook one last dumbshit one day
with lawyers increasing in price
oil and gas
at the pum
1:13 AM up in price
all the numbers
fuck,man,you’re doomed
BoardedUpSalmon is offline.

Guns in Christ cometh Saturday,July 19 at Monkey Bar.

Iran’s launching missiles in celebration. Israel can’t contain itself. Iraq is making room for yet another violent drunken evening with Lambs of Abortion,world leaders,peacekeepers,high priests,hot secretaries, action items,ignored genocides,revisionists,patriots,cabinet members,The End to End all Ends,YES,even unto thee,they said no more,nay,fuck this,I wish I could I hear,but now that the speakers are blown and the bass head’s blown and my head and my eyes are blurred with the whiskey morning haze wondering where did that girl go? And it’s time to do it all over again,because we are the band of Love & Hate.

I’m currently listening to an interview with Douglas Johnston,who served in multiple positions including the Office of the Secretary of Defense,specializing in diplomacy and bringing religion to the process of talking to Iran,Iraq,Lebanon,and other Muslim governments. Maybe not surprisingly,his views as a Christian are in complete opposition with the type of religious zealocy of the Bush administration’s policies. The Evangelical hard-liners ignore the two-faced positions of American foreign policy,rather attempting to pry-bar Christian-based civilized government without ever considering the fundamental religious nature of these Muslim states,militias,and governments. Nothing short of a religious argument against the Bush and Religious Right policies,pointing out the ignorance and hypocracy.While pushing harder and harder for moral legislation,the right continues to ignore the rest of the world; writing off groups of Muslim people as backwards and wrong,just like homosexuals and communists and all sorts of categories of whatever is different from their precious white image of Christ and what they hope someday is the golden age and death of America.